by
Ambyrhawke Shadowsinger
Copyright © August 25, 2000 Ambyrhawke Shadowsinger
All Rights Reserved
Universal MCA. This story is not intended to infringe upon the rights of the copyright holders. The only thing I'm making from this
is myself and hopefully, the readers happy.
This story is an offshoot from the episode "Return of Callisto."
Subtext: Ah, yes, my favorite disclaimer. This story depicts a loving relationship between two women. In case you haven't noticed,
Xena and Gabrielle have only said, "I love you" about a million times or so on the show. If the idea of two women loving each other
offends you, is illegal in your state, or you are under 18, you have my heartfelt condolences.
Placing Blame: This story is the fault of Ambrosia. A little over a year ago, she was carelessly tossing questions out on a Xena
board in front of a new bard....me. We were supposed to choose a character to be in one episode. We would be that character for
however many days the specific episode lasted. She wanted to know who we would choose to be, in what episode as well as if we
would do anything differently. A simple answer posed itself to me when the storyteller took over and started exploring the
ramifications of one little change. Well life and other stories happened between then and now, but here's what I wound up with.....
All feedback is welcome at Ambyrhawke@ambyrhawke.com
was over, there was the endless stream of bodies to consign to the funeral pyres. There were no wounded
to mend this time, otherwise Xena would still be tending them. No, in this battle everyone who had been
caught by Callisto's men took a death-blow. Even Xena received one. However, it was the little bard who
had driven the sword through the warrior's heart when she decided to marry Perdicas.
The warrior finally admitted to herself in the temple at Thessaly that she was in love with her companion.
Oh, she had known what her feelings were before then; she just hadn't acknowledged them. She had many
skills, and denial was one of them. Now her heart, so long ignored, sat breaking without hope of repair.
The wedding would take place the next day in a nearby temple of Cupid. Normally, Hera's temples were
used for marriage, but this one was closer. Besides, neither Gabrielle nor Xena were comfortable with the
goddess who so tormented their friend, Hercules.
Thus tonight was the last night Xena would spend with her best friend. She couldn't stand the thought of
having to watch Gabrielle and Perdicas together or listen to Joxer's tales of heroism. Thankfully, the
dreaded ceremony provided the perfect escape. Masking her despair behind a chuckle, Xena shooed the
men off to a different campfire, reminding everybody of the bad luck which would plague the marriage
should bride and groom see each other before the ceremony.
Now Xena sat staring into the orange flames of the campfire trying to silence the screaming voices inside
her head. They were all different, some calling out for Perdicas' blood, some crying out to Gabrielle in
despair, some cursing herself as a fool for never having revealed her feelings, and some demanding to tell
the bard right now of those feelings.
The azure eyes glistened with unshed tears as a single, quiet voice slowly made its way through the
cacophony, hushing its louder counterparts one by one. It was the voice that had always made Xena step
back and let Gabrielle leave; never influencing the decisions she made.
So the warrior sat on a log, as still as a stone during the painfully slow process. Her elbows rested on her
knees, and the strong chin balanced on her joined hands. Xena vowed to remain silent. It wasn't fair to
reveal her love after Gabrielle had chosen to marry.
The fire had burned down most of the way when Xena felt a warm hand on her shoulder. Gabrielle sat
down next to the brooding woman, half facing her. The warrior turned her head to her friend's gaze. She
hardened her eyes, lest the bard look through them and see the gaping wound in her heart.
With a gentle finger, Gabrielle brushed a lock of dark hair out of Xena's eyes. "You've been glaring at that
fire half the night, Xena. What's wrong?" she asked in a low voice.
The woman I love is about to marry someone else. "Nothing."
As the Warrior Princess turned back to the fire, Gabrielle caught her chin with two fingers, pulling the face
back. "That's not nothing."
The blue eyes flickered to the ground for a moment before she found an answer. "I'm just worn out. It's
been a long day." She returned her chin to its perch, exhaling slightly, looking through the sullen flames.
The protesting voices grew with the blonde's presence so close. She had to get Gabrielle away. Xena
glanced sideways at her, speaking once again, "You should go get some rest. You have a big day
tomorrow."
The young woman's voice trembled, "I'm nervous."
"Don't be...Perdicas is a nice man." Xena's mask slipped ever so slightly, "He's lucky to have you." Jade
eyes darted up at the incongruity of that statement, but the mask was already slammed back into place as
its owner retreated to the safety of contemplating the flames.
Leaning her head against the broad shoulder next to her, Gabrielle sighed, "I'll miss you, Xena."
It took all of the warrior's control not to react to those four words. As earlier, humor provided a much
needed cover for very different emotions. "Naw," she drawled with a smile that could almost have been a
grimace, "you'll get used to married life before ya know it."
